Friday, December 26, 2008
Woke up at 5plus(afternoon). Watched tv, ate porridge and sleep again. Woke up again at 7plus. Watched tv, online until now. My life is simple. Sleep, Tv, Eat. Bloghop and came over my friend's blog. Feeling sad/envious/happy...? I don't know my feeling. I have no mood for laughter?! Perhaps because I'm tired? Perhaps because of ytd? A sudden thinking. Maybe I'm been a fool for the past 2yrs++. Maybe his current behaviour had made thing clear to me, just that I don't discover it or I choose to run away from it. I don't know what I want. I don't know how I feel. Happy when you reply me. Happy when daydreaming with Jan about you. Happy mentioning about you to my friends. Jealous when you on good terms with girls. Sad when you never reply me. All I can do is to wait and I don't mind waiting. If you ask me to wait few more yrs, I don't mind waiting at all. Sometimes I wish/hope you telling me everything fading away. At least I would know and move on with my life.Not like now, everything seems like one-sided love. We hardly meet up. We hardly contact each other. We hardly slack together. I'm not close to you like all your other friends. I can't be by your side like all your other friends. I'm envious of your friends. I want to get close with you. I want to be by your side all the time. Seeing you happy, sad, angry. I want to know everything about you. But all these seems impossible. And this make me doubt my feeling for you over time. I began to doubt whethere my love for you is still as strong as before? I doubt whether I still like you? Or izzit because you once like me and that's why I like you too. Because till now, I still believe whatever you said 2yrs ago. I believe your feeling to me is the same 2yrs ago(maybe fading abit) Even though I knew you've changed but I still believe your feeling hasn't changed much. I envious those who waited very long and their effort got pay off. Tell me I'm foolish.Giving up? It's easy to say. But hard to do it:(24th dec '08 Woke up as early as 7am. Showered and bused to jp. Holyshit. The weather is supeeer nice to sleep in but yet i've to reach shop at 9am. Due to the heavy rain and presents, I was late in meeting Sandy. Trained down to Orchard for celebration(: Gift exchange. Food session. Slack with sandy in the pantry while waiting for Shiyun to arrive. Meanwhile went to shop for my basic and Sandy brought a shoe from Schu. Today isn't my GOOD day despite it's Christmas's Eve. Firstly, my shoe were wet and got dirty due to the rain and it's the FIRST TIME i wore it. Next, went to many Mango outlet and Cotton On for my basic tanktop, but to no avail. Followed by, Mango having further make-down, thinking to get a blouse from there to replace of my basic. But there isnt any of my size left. Wth. Vomit blooood xtimes!!! Lastly, he didnt reply my msg. Though it's quite a usual thing to happen, but somehow I'm still get affected by it:( Headed ChompChomp aftermaths. Boonlay for gift exchange and board the last bus home. Showered and sleep. I was supppppppper tired:/23th dec'08Town with Brendon and Duliang. I swear going out with them is dammmmm shiok!! They can make you happy at one sec, and piss off at the other sec. I love going out with them (though i've said today will be the last day i went out alone with them) Brought a pair of shoe over at Schu. It damm comfortable(: Action City for Kiahui's present. Topshop for Brendon. Poor Duliang, he didnt get anything for him:( Missed my 9pm show because Brendon wna take photo of the night scene in town:( Reached home and sleep around 1230am. Tml gotten wake up at 7am!!!! Oh gosh, I was dammmm tired:(
Bye Diary,
12:23 am
Zhao Sihui