False Hopes- that's the only description of my feeling to you in your mind. Even if I treat you good from my bottom of heart, you wouldn't feel real happy at all. Because in your mind,false hope is all what you think. It's hurt me when I read from your blog, you doesn't believe/trust me. I found myself so dumb doing all those happy things with you when you don't even believe me that I'm real. It's really hurt:/ I know it's hard for you to believe me up to this point of time especially after 'him' incident ocurs.My attitude and behaviour weren't positive towards you at the begining, but you continue clinging on; showing me all your care and concern. To be truthful, I was really moved by what you done. And that's why I'm trying my best not to think of him when I'm with you. True enough, after much attempts I finally did it. I told you this before. For a period of time, I even thought of choosing you instead of him. Wanting to show more care for you, think more of you and miss you. Yes, for that period, I think I really like you very much. I really like the period spending with you going out. And I admit that sometime I will miss/think of him. But all because of your 'false hope', everything seems to like go back to zero. All go back to the very past. Guess it need some time again for me to get back those feeling for you again. Don't bother to explain much to me if you saw this post. It will only make me feel more sad about it. Just treat this as a random posting. Just it as you never read at all. Thanks. Tears kept coming out while I'm blogging. Holyshit
Bye Diary,
11:31 pm